Swimming For Beginners by Nicola Gill

Author:Nicola Gill [Gill, Nicola]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bedford Square Publishers
Published: 2023-07-20T17:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Three weeks whizz by and, although I am very busy, I’m pleased with how things are going on all fronts.

At work, the pitch seems to be coming together and, bar the odd blip such as me telling Samira her new trousers don’t do anything for her (she asked), I am still managing to rub along better with people.

Out of work, things also seem under control. Robert and I are fine, of course, and I am relieved that Sylvia has kept to her word and always been at home when I’ve taken Phoebe back from swimming. What’s less welcome is that, having opened her heart to me once, Sylvia now seems to see me as something of a confidante. She tells me she had just started to put her life back on track after her divorce. That she had taken up jewellery making, started going to parties, having sex. Do I know how much she misses sex?

As well as taking Phoebe to swimming every week, I continue trying to coach her in ‘emotion management’ and find her to be a delightfully eager student. I teach her deep breathing, counting to calm down, punching her pillow when she’s angry and removing herself from situations when she needs a break. We put together a calm-down kit packed with coloured pencils, stickers and a new glittery notebook I bought her, and we talk about mood boosters such as reading her joke book or listening to an upbeat piece of music.

Today, within seconds of me picking her up from Sylvia’s, Phoebe is proudly launching into a story to demonstrate her progress. ‘Ben said Mummy would probably have been eaten by worms by now and I wanted to shout at him and tell him he’s a horrible meanie, but I just shut myself in the toilet and did my deep breathing.’

‘Good girl,’ I say, while also making a mental note that Ben sounds like a right little shit.

‘When I opened my packed lunch and dropped my hummus on the floor, I felt like crying but I counted the tiles on the ceiling until I was okay.’

‘Brilliant.’ I feel a warm glow of pride. As this is the weekend before the pitch, I really shouldn’t be taking Phoebe to swimming today, but seeing her like this makes any extra pressure I’ll be under later worthwhile. Plus, things are in pretty good shape on the pitch and I’ll be in the office for the rest of the weekend.

When we reach the leisure centre, I tell Phoebe I need to nip to the loo and she should start changing. In the cubicle, I allow myself to daydream about winning the pitch. ‘Imagine if we win the first pitch you’ve ever led on?’ Greg said to me yesterday. ‘I don’t think that could hurt your chances of promotion, could it?’ We both laughed at the way he was making it sound as if this was nothing to do with him.

I wash my hands and go back towards Phoebe, who is engaged in conversation with someone no one can see.

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